January is often spoken about as a fresh start – a clean slate, a chance to reinvent ourselves and finally become the person we promised we would be. Yet for many people, January feels far from hopeful. Instead, it can be one of the most emotionally complex and challenging months of the year.
It is a month that can bring a rollercoaster of emotions. One moment you may feel motivated, full of plans and good intentions. The next, you might feel exhausted, low, or overwhelmed. For some, January is coloured by a quiet sense of failure – the feeling that they have already “fallen behind” or “given up” before the year has truly begun.
If this resonates with you, you are not alone.
After the Festive Period: Emotional Exhaustion
The festive season can take a lot out of us. Even if it is enjoyable, it often comes with increased socialising, disrupted routines, financial pressure, family dynamics, and emotional expectations. For others, Christmas and New Year can be deeply painful, highlighting grief, loneliness, or difficult relationships.
By the time January arrives, many people are emotionally and physically drained. There is a pressure to return to “normal” life quickly – work resumes, routines restart, and productivity is expected. Yet inside, you may still be catching your breath. You might feel flat, numb, or unusually irritable. This exhaustion is not a personal failing; it is a very human response to an intense period.
For many people, January also brings increased work anxiety. Returning to work after the festive break can feel abrupt and overwhelming, especially if you were already feeling stressed, burnt out, or dissatisfied in your role. Low energy levels, dark mornings, and the pressure to be productive can intensify feelings of anxiety, dread, or self-doubt. You may notice worries about coping, concentration, or performance at work, or a sense that you should be managing better than you are. These experiences are very common in January and often reflect exhaustion and pressure rather than any personal failing.
The Myth of the Perfect Time to Change
January has become synonymous with change. New Year’s resolutions are everywhere – eat better, exercise more, stop bad habits, be more productive, be happier. While change can be positive, January is not always the best time to attempt it.
Cold weather, dark mornings, and long nights can significantly affect our mood and motivation. Our bodies naturally crave rest during winter months, not constant self-improvement. Energy levels are often lower, and for some, seasonal low mood or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can make even everyday tasks feel heavy.
Trying to overhaul your life during this time can feel like swimming against the tide. When motivation fades, it is easy to conclude that something is “wrong” with you, rather than recognising that the conditions are simply difficult.
When Motivation Turns Into Self-Criticism
Many people start January feeling hopeful, only to feel deflated when motivation doesn’t last. Resolutions are forgotten, routines slip, and the internal critic can become loud.
Thoughts such as:
- “I should be doing better by now.”
- “Everyone else seems to be managing.”
- “I’ve failed already.”
These thoughts can create shame and pressure, making change feel even harder. The problem is not that you lack willpower. Often, it is that you are pushing yourself to change before you are emotionally ready.
Real, lasting change tends to come from a place of self-compassion, not self-criticism.
The Pressure to Be Ready
January carries an unspoken message that we should be ready – ready to move on, ready to improve, ready to feel optimistic. But readiness cannot be forced.
You may still be processing the year that has passed. You may be grieving, healing, or simply tired. Pushing yourself before you are ready can lead to burnout, resentment, or a sense of failure that deepens over time.
It is okay if January is not your month to transform. Sometimes, it is a month to rest, reflect, and survive.
A Different Way to View January
Instead of seeing January as a deadline for change, it can be helpful to see it as a pause. A time to gently check in with yourself rather than judge yourself.
You might ask:
- What do I need right now?
- What has this past year taken out of me?
- Where can I be kinder to myself?
Small, compassionate steps often matter more than big, dramatic goals. This might look like establishing a basic routine, getting outside for short walks, prioritising sleep, or allowing yourself to say no.
Change does not have to be rushed. There is no rule that says it must begin on the 1st of January.
Moving Forward at Your Own Pace
If January feels heavy, that does not mean the rest of the year will too. Motivation and clarity often return naturally as the days grow longer and energy begins to lift. Many people find that spring feels like a more natural time for growth and change.
How Counselling Can Help
How Counselling Can Help
If January feels overwhelming or you recognise yourself in any of this, you don’t have to work through it alone. Counselling can offer a supportive, non-judgemental space to explore how you’re feeling, at a pace that feels right for you.
I work face to face in Plymouth, as well as online or by telephone, allowing you to choose the format that feels most comfortable. I currently have availability for weekly or fortnightly sessions, depending on your needs.
I also offer a free initial phone call to new clients. This is an opportunity to ask questions, share a little about what’s been bringing you to counselling, and see whether working together feels like a good fit — with no obligation to continue.
You don’t need to have clear goals or feel “ready” for change to reach out. Sometimes the first step is simply talking.
If you’d like to arrange a free initial call or find out more, please get in touch
