Many people carry a story inside them.
A story shaped by experiences, relationships, losses, or moments that changed something deep within. Often, that story has been held quietly for years—sometimes decades—not because it isn’t important, but because it never felt safe, possible, or worthwhile to speak it out loud.
Healing often begins not with advice, solutions, or answers, but with something much simpler: being truly heard.
To be listened to—without interruption, judgement, or pressure—can be profoundly healing. When someone listens with care and curiosity, it sends a powerful message: you matter, your experience matters, and you do not have to carry this alone. For many people, this is the first step towards change.
The weight of holding it all in
So many people come to counselling carrying something they have never spoken about before. It might be something painful, confusing, or deeply personal. It might feel too small to mention, or too big to know where to begin. Over time, holding these experiences inside can become exhausting. What remains unspoken doesn’t disappear—it often shows up in anxiety, low mood, relationship difficulties, or a persistent sense of being stuck.
For some people, the story has been held for so long that they believe they have already dealt with it. Life moves on, coping strategies develop, and the past feels tucked away. And then, sometimes unexpectedly, it returns. A memory, a life change, a relationship, or a particular moment can bring it back, and suddenly the feelings are there again—strong and vivid, as though it all happened yesterday.
This can feel confusing and unsettling. People often wonder why something from long ago still affects them, or worry that it means they are “going backwards.” In reality, this is a very human response. Navigating this alone can feel tricky, but it doesn’t mean you have failed or that it’s too late to talk about it.
Why people stay quiet
There are many understandable reasons why people choose not to speak about what they have been carrying.
Some fear they won’t be believed, especially if they were dismissed or not taken seriously in the past. Others worry about losing control—once words are spoken, it can feel hard to contain what might follow. Some believe it doesn’t matter now because the experience happened years ago, or that they should be over it by now. Many people simply don’t know where to start, particularly if their thoughts feel tangled or incomplete.
Silence is often a way of protecting yourself. For many, it was necessary at the time.
Why being heard can be transformative
Being heard is different from everyday listening. It means being met with empathy, patience, and respect. It means having the space to speak in your own way, at your own pace, without pressure to explain everything neatly or have all the answers.
When you are truly heard, something begins to shift. Feelings that have been held inside can soften. Experiences that felt confusing or overwhelming can slowly be explored and understood. Talking does not change what happened, but it can change how those experiences continue to live within you.
“I don’t even know where to start”
This is one of the most common worries people have before beginning counselling. The truth is: there is no right place to start.
In counselling, you can begin wherever you are. With something recent, something from long ago, or simply with how you are feeling right now. You might start with clear words, or you might struggle to find them at all. Everyone’s process is different, and that’s okay.
Counselling is not about telling your story perfectly. It is about creating a space where you feel safe enough to explore what feels important to you.
Taking the first step
Starting counselling can feel daunting, especially if you’ve never spoken about what you’re holding. To help ease those nerves, I offer a free initial telephone call for new clients. This gives you the opportunity to see how it feels to talk to me, ask any questions you may have, and decide whether counselling with me feels right for you—without any pressure to commit.
Many people find this first conversation helps to reduce anxiety and makes the idea of starting counselling feel more manageable.
I am currently accepting new clients on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. If you are holding onto something, or simply curious about whether counselling might help, you are welcome to get in touch. Sometimes, the most powerful step is simply allowing yourself to be heard.
www.oceansbreezecounselling.co.uk
