Change is something most of us say we want - feeling happier, calmer, or more confident. Yet actually making change happen can feel almost impossible. Many people find themselves stuck in situations that don't feel right, whether that's in relationships, jobs, or habits, and wonder why they can't move forward even when they know something needs to change.
The truth is: change is hard. Not because you're weak, but because as human beings, we're wired to seek safety and familiarity. The known - even if it's uncomfortable - often feels safer than the unknown.
The Comfort of the Familiar
It's common to stay in situations that don't feel good simply because they're familiar. Familiarity brings a sense of control. We know what to expect, even if it's not what we want. There's comfort in predictability, even when it keeps us small.
For example, someone might remain in an unfulfilling job because leaving brings anxiety about finances or failure. Another person might stay in a difficult relationship because it's what they've known for years. Sometimes, we even hold on to unhelpful patterns of thinking, like self-criticism or perfectionism, because they've become part of how we cope, even though they cause distress.
Our brains are designed to keep us safe, not necessarily happy. When something feels uncertain or unfamiliar, our nervous system can interpret it as a threat, triggering fear, worry, or guilt for wanting things to be different. If you're seeking counselling in Plymouth or from Devon and outside areas, this is something we explore together to help you understand your responses and take manageable steps forward.
The Fear of the Unknown
One of the biggest obstacles to change is uncertainty. What of things get worse? What if I can't cope? What if I fail? These questions often keep people stuck exactly where they are.
Fear of the unknown can feel paralysing. Even if the current situation isn't working, at least it's predictable. The new, unfamiliar path - even if it offers relief or growth - can feel terrifying because you can't yet see how it will unfold. This fear can make you doubt yourself and your ability to handle what comes next.
Sometimes, past experiences of disappointment or instability make change feel unsafe. Other times, we may not have people who believed in us - making it hard to trust ourselves. In counselling sessions, we work together to gently explore these fears and build self-trust, helping you approach change with more confidence.
When Change Feels Unsafe
For some people, change can bring up not only fear but a sense of danger. This can happen if, at some point, change or uncertainty was linked to experiences of harm, instability, or loss of safety. Even when life is different now, the body can still react as though the new or unfamiliar is unsafe.
If this feels familiar, it's important to know there's nothing "wrong" with you. Your mind and body are doing their best to protect you. Counselling can help untangle these responses, rebuild a sense of safety, and help you approach change un a way that feels manageable and supported.
Why Self-Belief Matters
When we don't trust ourselves, change can feel almost impossible. Thoughts like "What if I make the wrong choice?" or "I'm not strong enough" can stop us before we even begin. Building self-trust takes time and often starts with listening to ourselves with compassion rather than criticism.
Counselling in Plymouth offers a safe space to explore these doubts in person and to strengthen your confidence. With support, you can begin to trust yourself to navigate change and uncertainty.
How Counselling Can Help
Counselling provides a non-judgemental space to explore what is going on for you. You don't need all the answers. A counsellor can help you:
- Understand your patterns - Explore why you feel stuck and what beliefs and fears are holding you back.
- Recognise your strengths - Rediscover the resilience and coping skills you may have overlooked.
- Work with fear, not against it - Learn tools to soothe anxiety when facing uncertainty.
- Move at your own pace - Take small, achievable steps toward change that feel safe.
My Integrative Approach
I take an integrative approach to counselling, drawing on multiple therapeutic models to tailor sessions to each individual. This might involve talking therapy or creative tools such as pen and paper exercises, or a deck of therapeutic cards to explore emotions, family dynamics, or relationships visually and reflectively.
The aim is always to provide a safe space where you can better understand yourself, rebuild trust, and approach change with support - at a pace that works for you.
Change as a Journey, Not a Destination
Change is rarely a single leap. It is often gradual, beginning with a small shift in perspective or reaching out for help. Sometimes it means learning to sit with discomfort while building the courage to take the next step.
Though the process can feel uncomfortable, it can also be deeply rewarding - a chance to rediscover parts of yourself that may have been hidden beneath fear or self- doubt. Counselling helps you stay connected to yourself, offering guidance and encouragement as you move toward a more authentic, fulfilling life.
Take the First Step Toward Change
If you feel ready to explore change and want support I offer all new clients a free initial phone call to discuss your needs and answer any questions. I provide counselling face to face in Plymouth, as well as online and by telephone, so you can choose the option that works best for you.
You can find out more about my approach and get in contact to arrange a free call on my website: www.oceansbreezecounselling.co.uk. Taking the first step can be the start of a journey toward greater confidence and well-being.
Local and National Support for Those in Danger
If you are in a situation that feels unsafe right now - for example, experiencing domestic abuse -it's important to seek specialist support. You don't have to face this alone. Some organisations that can help include:
- Sunflower Women's Centre (Plymouth) - Support for women experiencing domestic abuse, trauma, mental wellbeing challenges, or social isolation. Contact telephone number - (01752) 977614
- First Light (Devon & Plymouth) - Provides support for survivors of domestic abuse and sexual violence. Helpline - 0300 303 4626
- Refuge (National, UK) - Confidential 24-hour domestic abuse helpline offering expert advise and refuge. Helpline - 0808 2000 247
If you are ever in immediate danger, call 999.
