Narcissistic Abuse Awareness: Understanding the Signs and Finding Support
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but when the dynamics become emotionally harmful and confusing, it's worth taking a closer look. Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse that can deeply impact your sense of self, your confidence, and your wellbeing — often without you even realising it’s happening.
Today, on Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day, I want to help shed some light on what narcissistic abuse involves, how to recognise the signs, and most importantly, how you can begin to move forward — with support.
What is Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of manipulative, controlling, and often covert behaviours used by someone to gain power in a relationship. This isn’t about labelling someone as a narcissist — instead, it’s about recognising the harmful behaviours that can occur, regardless of a person’s diagnosis or personality traits.
These behaviours are often subtle, which is why survivors may not immediately see them as abuse. It might start with subtle criticisms, controlling comments masked as concern, or moments of affection followed by sudden coldness. Over time, this can erode your sense of self and leave you feeling trapped, anxious, or ashamed.
Common Signs of Narcissistic Abuse
While everyone’s experience is unique, here are some signs that may indicate a pattern of narcissistic abuse:
- Gaslighting – being made to feel like your memory or perception is faulty (“That never happened,” or “You’re being too sensitive”).
- Blame shifting – feeling like everything that goes wrong is somehow your fault.
- Idealisation and devaluation – being put on a pedestal one moment, then criticised or ignored the next.
- Emotional withdrawal – being "punished" through silence or distance when you don’t comply.
- Isolation – being slowly distanced from friends, family, or activities you once loved.
- Loss of identity – not recognising yourself anymore, or constantly second-guessing your thoughts and feelings.
These behaviours aren’t always obvious, and they rarely occur in isolation. You may feel like you’re the problem or like you’re “too much” or “not enough.” That’s the cruel impact of emotional manipulation — it makes you question your reality.
It’s Not Your Fault
If you’re struggling to name your experience as abusive, you’re not alone. Many people minimise what they’ve been through or feel unsure whether it “counts.” There can be a lot of shame, confusion, or fear tied up in acknowledging abuse — especially if the person hurting you is also someone you care about.
But recognising the behaviour is not about blaming or pathologizing anyone else. It’s about honouring your experience, reclaiming your truth, and knowing that what you feel matters.
I’ve worked with many people who have felt stuck, ashamed, or unsure of how they got to where they are. And I’ve seen the transformation that happens when they start to reconnect with themselves and find clarity in the chaos.
Therapy Can Help
Even if you’re not sure what’s happening, or you feel like maybe you are the problem — therapy offers a space to explore those feelings in safety and without judgment.
Together, we can:
- Untangle the confusion around your experiences
- Rebuild your self-trust and confidence
- Explore healthy boundaries and self-compassion
- Begin healing from emotional harm — at your own pace
Therapy doesn’t require you to have all the answers. It’s okay to arrive with questions, fears, or even doubt. The most important thing is that you don’t have to go through this alone.
You're Not Alone – And You Deserve Support
If any of this resonates with you, know that support is available. I currently have spaces on Tuesday afternoons and offer a free initial phone call for all new clients. This is a chance for you to ask any questions, share what’s on your mind, and see how we might work together — with no pressure or obligation.
You can take the first step toward clarity, healing, and empowerment — even if you’re not sure where that path will lead just yet.
💬 To book your free call, simply Ocean’s Breeze Counselling in Plymouth | Online Counsellor in Devon or get in touch via info@oceansbreezeconselling.co.uk
You are not too sensitive. You are not imagining things. And you are not alone.
